Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Mammo Madness

Warning. If you have no desire to read about the realities of mammograms (or aging), do not read today's post.

I had my annual mammogram today. The nice tech lady who did the honors kept me in reality, lest I was feeling young and cute today.

I told her that I had had a little tenderness and showed her where. She nicely told me that my issues might just be "gravity". Yes. She did. I swear she said that. Gravity.

She was then kind enough to tell me that any tenderness could be hormonal and that considering my age, I could just be approaching "the change." Yes. She said that. The Change.

Then, after gently slapping one of my breasts up on the shelf, she informed me that my breasts aren't too heavy like some women's. She said that some women have "watermelons". Yes. She did. She said that. In fact, she said "Some women's breasts are like watermelons and I don't know how they get out of bed in the morning with all that weight." Seriously!

After looking at my films, she said that I do still have some breast tissue which is dense, but not to worry. That dense breast tissue would soon go away with age and be replaced with fat.

She told me about her loss of sight and her gain of weight due to her advanced age of 50 something. You have got to be kidding. How did I draw this ray of sunshine?

Here's hoping that your next mammo is not as entertaining as mine! Seriously.

Happy Healthy Breast Day!
~Mindy

19 comments:

  1. Mammo's are my least favorite! I would rather have my teeth cleaned, and I hate having my teeth cleaned. Question about my little gout footstool that you so kindly helped me with. Would you recover it to try to sell it or leave it as is? You have been in this business a lot longer than I have. Thanks!
    Hugs,
    Becky

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  2. Don't you let that mean woman ruin your day, she was just jealous that she wasn't as pretty as you or young like you or had your body. Yes ma'am I'm sure you gave her good look or too! Thanks for the insight, now I know why I've kept putting having one of those dreadful things off, again for the 3rd year in row...

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  3. Theresa, you are about to endure the wrath of Mindy. Get your boobies into the doctor post haste. It's what you do! No questions. This woman was entertaining, cuz I got to blog about her. This was NOT written to discourage anyone from pursuing good breast health. Now I am going to hound you until you get 'er done! ~Mindy

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  4. and by the way, Theresa, thank you for your sweet words. I just couldn't see them momentarily...You rock! get the boobs smushed...~Mindy

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  5. ROFL. And Teresa, Get your boobs smashed real soon ya here.

    Margo

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  6. oh my! that is something i am not looking forward too! glad your mammo is over. (0:

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  7. Thank God there are no pictures!

    I can't wait to blog on my prostate exam!

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  8. See,I knew those things were nothing but bad news!!! That's why I haven't gone to get one yet!! I can't believe that woman said all those things! CRAZY!!!

    Lisa

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  9. Oh, I'm laughing...a lot. I'm SO sorry! She has no idea what she's talking about. After all, she's blind and fat.

    The bright side, you're good for a year.

    David's comment killed me.
    -FringeGirl

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  10. Oh my gosh, could she be any more depressing?!!! I go in for mine tomorrow..I hope I get Pollyanna for my tech. I don't care if she lies to me as long as she tells me nice things. LOL

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  11. Maybe hers turned to fat, but I just looked down one day and poof! They were gone. Not only was she blind and fat, but dumb as well. 50 is NOT, repeat not an advanced age. Haven't you heard? It's the new 15. Debbie

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  12. Thanks for the candid comical side of an issue that's not always so funny! It's good to have a sense of humor!

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  13. Ha! FringeGirl, you are so right! She IS blind and fat! And Trash Talk, no doubt she is dumb. Please. 50? Advanced? Give me a break!

    To you ladies who have not had a mammo, it's actually no big deal. Once you've got one under your belt, the rest are just routine. Honestly.

    Jan, I hope you got Pollyanna.

    Since I have had a few years worth of mammos, I found myself looking for humor somewhere and there it was with Bubbles, the Technician. My biggest challenge was remembering everything that she said so that I could tell you! The ole memory's not what it used to be, you know!? haha

    David, if you want to share your prostate exam with us, well...we'll listen. That's just how we are. I guess in this case, it wouldn't be tit for tat...it would be more like tit for toot.

    ~Mindy

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  14. I'm glad for the health of your boobies!

    In Canada we're not encouraged to have mamograms until we're 50. Good old cost cutting on "free" health care. I had one though. Was fine. But not nearly as fun/weird as yours.

    What a job!

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  15. HA! tit for toot. Now that just cracked me up!

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  16. I haven't laughed this hard all week. Thank you

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  17. Ha ha! Welcome to the club of approaching old age, gravity and all the good stuff. Hopefully your mood will be much lighter than the woman who was kind enough to tell you about gravity and such and spread the joy. Happy day and thanks for making me laugh!

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  18. She said she was blind???? Did you get someone else to read the films? Just a thought. Sorry you had such a dePRESSing day. I always love it when they say...Now hold your breath and don't move! I start holding my breath as soon as they hit the flatten button! Good post!
    Patti

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  19. I am just so thankful we don't have to have assograms!

    Malisa

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