Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Cheese Crisp Fiasco

It all started when I was asked to bring a "signature dish" to a holiday party. Ummm. I don't have one of those. So, I picked up a holiday cookbook and started looking. Mind you, I don't cook much. At all. But, I found this recipe:
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and thought I'd found my signature dish. Look! Simple ingredients.
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Last night around 11, I was going to make a batch. But, I discovered the need for the cheese to be "softened." So, I put off the baking until the morning. I should have known then that I was doomed. A foreshadowing of things to come.

This morning, I got the cheese out for softening. After the desired softness had been achieved, I looked for my cheese slicer. Couldn't find it. Steak knife? Not a good idea. Bread knife? Better than nothing.

Desired thickness, 1/4" huh?
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I couldn't find a 1 1/2 round cookie cutter. This melon baller worked pretty good. Improvisation. No problem!
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Yes. I took pictures. I thought it was going to be a wonderful signature dish and I just knew I was going to want to share my adventure/recipe with you! Check these out:
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I'm thinking all is well. I went with 10 minutes and didn't take a peek until 10 minutes was up. Mistake. Here's what I saw when I opened the door to my 17 year old, uneven cooking oven:
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Uh. A crispy, burned, sizzling, greasy, drippy, fire hazard, cheese fiasco. This picture does not do justice to the smoke emitting from my oven as the grease attempted to burn itself off the bottom. I guess maybe the cookie sheet might have been better if it had lips. Like a roasting pan! Watch out. It got on my wood floors next.
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If one tries to scrape burned, greasy cheese off a hot pan with a plastic spatula, they will find that plastic spatulas melt.
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If one tries to be overly cautious, they might end up with cheese gooey, instead of cheese crisps. Is anyone feeling healthy about this greasy goo?
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I had left over cheese so, I tried to make the cut up left over pieces into tasty cheese crisps without proper form.
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This is what happens when you go to update status on facebook and forget about the cheese in the oven. Everything tastes like burned grease.
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Dear people. There will be no Mindy's Signature Dish at the Holiday Party. Nuts. Mindy will be bringing nuts. Cashews? Almonds? Maybe a nice mixed assortment. Or perhaps, cubed, cold, firm monterey jack cheese?

Now, for what I am thankful for this Thanksgiving. This year, I am thankful for the sound of laughter. My mother's laughter. My mother laughed like I had not heard in years when I told her the Cheese Crisp story. See? It was all worth it.

Happy Thanksgiving my friends and family.


  1. while reading this - i heard erma bombeck - remember her? you write much like she did - very very very funny... sorry it didn't turn out better .. sounded good - anything with cayenne pepper oughta taste good huh?


  2. Mindy, the second batch looks pretty darn good to me. Who cares if they are not perfectly formed. Thanks for keepin' it real! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend!

  3. Oh My GOD! Sounds like the time I made a HUGE Apple Crisp to bring to work and on the morning in question, I slipped it into the oven for a few minutes to warm it up before I left. When I took it out, it slipped and my kitchen floor ate the entire apple crisp...and the office had to settle for boxed cookies...I was just shakin' my head....and shakin' it... Have a happy Turkey Day! Tami E.

  4. I am with your Mother! I laughed out loud reading your adventures with cooking! I hope you saw Julie and Julia! I think I will forward your "signature" dish to Lurch's cardiologist! I hope you have a wonderful, cheesy Thanksgiving and thanks for the laughs!


  5. All you need for a "signature dish" is a bag of Oreos and a magic marker (which is good for any signature that you want).

  6. Talk about a cheesy post...just kidding. Girl, I feel your pain...remind me to tell you about the "foot" dip I served at a Christmas open house one time. Never, ever, never try a new recipe out on guests!

  7. Oh how often this has happened to me. I've learned never (& I mean never) try anything new for a special event. I'm thinkin' cashews are a pretty good signature dish. Hope you and David have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Can't wait to see pics of your open house. Jan

  8. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has adventures like this. I'm bringing a premade item from Sam's.
    See ya tomorrow.

  9. At least you tried, right? Besides, everyone's gonna be too busy oooh-ing and aaah-ing over your vignettes to notice whether it's pre-made or homemade!
    Have a very blessed and Happy Thanksgiving and a GREAT open house!

  10. I'm crying...seriously - and it's not the cayenne or the chili powder's fault...

    Now, I'm rolling and crying...

    AND LAUGHING!!! Girl - I am so glad I'm not the only one!!! Have they built you a fire station 'round your corner yet?

    Sending you my biggest, cheesiest grin for Thanksgiving! LOLOLOLOLOL

    ;-) Robelyn

  11. Hey - Whatever you bring - who cares? Just looking forward to seeing ya! Hugs, Donna

  12. Oh Mindy, my heart goes out to you and your endeavor to have a signature dish. My suggestion is to make cream cheese dip.
    Take 4 refrigerated crescent rolls and lay them flat and pinch the edges together to make a rectangle. Take dill and cover the crescent rolls until it looks green like grass. Place an entire block of cream cheese in the middle and fold up the edges of the crescent rolls to seal the cream cheese. Place folded edges down on baking sheet and bake 20 minutes at 400. Let cool slightly and cut block in half. Serve with apple slices or crackers of your choice. Always a hit at my parties.

  13. Mindy I always ALWAYS enjoy your blog.. on a really bad day I know I can come to your page to cheer up and I am never disappointed. Its great to know I am not the only one who goofs up once in a while difference is that if I'm not caught I try to hide it :)I laughed so hard at this LOVE IT best holiday wishes to you and yours!

  14. ROFL!

    You know, I would've eaten them. I'll eat anything with cheese.

  15. Don't make me laugh...

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL I love the way you cook... I think we were separated - I'm sticking with that.


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